giving power to our expectations-we need to stop.

I've been wondering for years now why I am so often caught off guard by things that happen in my life. How I am so often outraged when things don't go exactly as I had planned.

A few weeks ago I turned 25, a quarter of a century. When I opened my eyes to my birthday, I sat up in expectation of feeling a maturity and wisdom I had not known as a 24 year old. I rubbed my eyes, stretched, looked around me...nothing. Eric was still asleep, and feeling as if this mini birthday crisis did not concern him, I sat on the edge of the bed alone with my thoughts.

Many years ago 25 seemed so old. By twenty-five I would have two kids, and maybe have written a book, and been to Africa, and have found my niche in life.  I would of course no longer be suffering from anxiety and vicious panic attacks. By twenty-five everything would be all smoothed out. And if not by twenty-five, probably by the time I'm thirty...Right?

We put so much power on our expectations.

Right now there is so much power in my expectation that I'll be alive tomorrow.

Not only do I desire to be alive tomorrow, but I expect to be.

I also expect that Eric and I will be able to have children when that time comes. And I expect those children to be healthy and to outlive both me and him.

We seem to have these assumptions or expectations for our lives and if things don't end up that way, we are devastated.

They may be social norms that we have adopted, or things that are hearts deeply desire, or expectations we feel have been put on us by loved ones.

Being healthy, graduating college, getting married, having kids, living until we're of a ripe old age, having a good job, having a comfortable amount of money, being happy.

Just a few of these expectations that I hold for myself, and many of you may hold for yourselves as well.

Is this why we are so often disappointed? Is this why we are outraged when somehow our own plans are thwarted? Is this why we have mini adult temper tantrums when anything feels out of our control?

We need to let go of some of our expectations. We need to keep things in perspective.

The gift of these lives we are living are nothing short of that; a gift.

There is no guarantee that any of those expectations that we have for our life will happen for us.

NO GUARANTEE.

But that is okay.

GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL.

When our lives are crumbling to bits and pieces. When we have lost a loved one, are dying ourselves, are parenting a troubled child, fighting a mental illness, fighting the mundane of our everyday lives...God is in control.

Last week I finished a book I was reading about a little girl in Haiti. It was a fictional story, but written by a Haitian woman. She described gang violence and government corruption, poverty, and simplicity. It got me thinking about my expectations. How entitled they are. How entitled I feel to a life of health, happiness; to any life at all.

I was humbled. And continue to be humbled.

God is still good when our expectations are not met. God is still in control

And maybe...just maybe, having less of them will give us the peace we have been searching for.

Maybe if we expect less we will not spend so much time being disappointed and angry.

Maybe we will experience more joy, accepting life with open hands; ready to accept and let go as we are asked to.

Let's open our hands, friends, and keep them open through all the ebbs and flows of our lives.