Life According to my Neurosis: CH.2 Aviation

I don’t dislike flying.

Or even hate it really.

I completely and totally despise it.

A few months ago Eric (my soon to be hubby) went skydiving with a bunch of his buddies. He brought home a DVD of his experience and as we were all watching it, someone made the joke that, for me, jumping out of the plane would be the easy part. Good luck getting me on it in the first place.

To whatever family member said that…touche

But pretty much that sums up the greatness of this fear. I would rather jump out of a plane at 12,000 feet, than sit on one watching the newest blockbuster.

Now that I’m 23 I can throw a couple back and, if I’m flying with someone, just let them carry my unconscious body onboard.

I’m kidding.

Ok not really.

My favorite Lizz plane experience story to tell is about 6 years old (If you do the math I was 17)…

I was on my way home from boarding school in Arizona. I flew home every two months and each time was quite a surprise for all the flight attendants. But this one was a special treat.

As the plane took off I had a jolt of panic, one my anxious little brain couldn’t ignore. I unbuckled my seatbelt and literally ran screaming down the aisle to the back of the plane.

At this point I may have been hyperventilating, but I’m sure I looked absolutely hilarious in my plaid skirt and sweater, running around the plane like the crazy person I am.

On this particular flight there was a HUGE bouncer type flight attendant who happened to catch me on my second lap around the plane.. He kindly asked me what my problem was and that was when I DEMANDED that they land the plane.

“we’re not near an airport”

“so land anywhere. Somewhere. I need to get off this ungodly contraption NOW”

We went back and forth like this a few time until I think he felt sorry for me. I think that because he actually took my seat on the plane and let me sit in his cool back of the plane seat with the other stewardesses.

AND I got to spend the whole entire flight giving out peanuts to the other people on the plane, who were still probably just hoping I didn’t go psycho again.

It may have even been my calling…except for the flying part.