livin on a prayer?

Prayer is an interesting thing. I, for one, have always struggled with the idea of prayer. Sometimes it seems so pointless to fold my hands and ask the God of the Universe to “answer my prayer”. I am wary of the times when I dutifully fold my hands, bow my head, and “pray”, all the while thinking about a million other things. And that is why I choose to keep prayer undefined. The idea of prayer the way it was presented to me in church (hands folded, eyes closed, kneeling) feels stiff and impersonal to me, so unlike the God I claim to be talking to. For me, prayer is anything from looking up to the sky after one too many things gone wrong and saying “seriously?” to kneeling beside my bed in a meditative state. And frankly, I don’t think it matters to God, as long as we’re letting him in.

Last night I talked on the phone for 2 straight hours and loved every minute of it. I went upstairs, got comfy and had some amazing conversations with two amazing people. I set apart a special time in my evening for them. I set apart no special time with God yesterday.

So I got a little mathematical about it. I picked the person I set apart the most time for: Eric (my boyfriend) and calculated the number of hours I spend with him on an average week: 40 (the number of hours considered full time at most jobs). Then I calculated the number of hours I spend with God on an average good week: 3. Then just to really prove my point to myself, I put that against the number of hours I spend watching TV: 7. Well, there you have it folks, I watch more TV then I spend talking with my Savior.

So naturally I had a huge conversation with myself concerning my recent mathematical findings, and I came to this realization: It is absolutely absurd for me to believe that I can have a relationship with my God if I don’t give Him the time a deep, rich relationship needs. TV may seem like just the thing I need after a long day at work and a strenuous walk with my puppy Max, but without fail, every time I choose to spend time talking to God, I am refreshed in ways that Law and Order and spending time with Eric will never refresh me. He has got to be my center, my everything, the relationship that is before all else.

I want to be an active member in my relationship with my creator and my friend, seeking and loving Him to the best of my human ability.

      

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart."

{Jeremiah 29:12-13}